THE SMITH FAMILY: what a bunch of characters!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

what a bunch of characters! - by alma

The kids have been cracking me up lately. Here’s just a few pictures and a video to help you see what I’ve been seeing.

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quote wall

* You make all our dreams come true!--oesterle's.
* Not wanting burnt cheese is like not wanting to go to the celestial kingdom--alma.
*If stuff like that came out of your diaper, I would eat it--nicole
*Um, I'm contemplating just burning myself--nicole
* If you know everything about math, people worship you--alma
* Do you think it's against the honor code to have your pants undone on campus?--alma
* When I step on crunchy leaves, something in my body gets happy--nicole
*You're a blue funk--alma

*It's a good thing I'm not the cursing kind, cause I'd be a potty mouth lately--nicole
*My hair is awesome; it's trained like a good seeing eye dog--alma
*Facebook is for single people...it's for perverts--nicole
*My skin's not as elastic as yours, mines chubby, so that hurts--nicole
*You are the dead duck--alma
*Don't touch me with your face--alma
*(alma: You just castrated your cheesecake!) I castrate all things with nuts--nicole
*I hate eating burgers in a skirt--nicole
*Did that girl have 2 arms?--nicole
*I would be willing to kill a small animal to go to the dentist--alma
*My subconscious is a genius--alma
*Recreation!...HIRE ME--alma
*I'd marry an implant any day over a man--alma

*I always sleep with my teeth out--nicole
*You'd look good in terd, that's how hot you are--alma
*Jesus come? Jesus come!--jagger (2 1/2)

*We always had toilet paper everywhere when I was growing up--matt carter

*I have babies for exercise...I don't climb mountains!--nicole

*Hey kids!--jagger (2 1/2)

*I'm excited to snuggle up to your duff--nicole

*Do they do man Brazilians?--alma

*I'm not a pervert, I'm your wife--nicole

*You're obsessed with black people's nostrils--alma

*That's true, we squatted...we can do anything!--nicole

*It's a mutual man crush--alma

*(alma: You're not Jesus) Maybe I am, when it comes to blinkers--nicole

*You know, urine has just become a part of our life--alma

*Just go to work you little numb nuts--alma

*Don't hate...procreate!--nicole

*(nicole: my teeth are wearing nylons) I have a club foot in back!--alma

*(putting on daddy's shoes) "Bye! I go work!!"--jagger

*How does that go?...You're nuttier than a squirrel on Sunday--alma

*Ouch! You just popped one of my ovaries--nicole

*He's a modern marvel...Michael Jackson's the 8th world wonder--nicole

*We're all weird!!--jagger (almost 3)

*Mr English should be shot in the face. He should've married Mrs Spanish--alma

*(as alma's hunches over the humidifier taking in deep breaths on fast Sunday) What are you doing? Are you thirsty??-nicole

*I'm like a navy seal on the toilet--alma

*I'm gonna swear like a sailor after I turn 70--alma

*I like the runs, you either need it or you don't (during a phase 10 game)--nicole

*Pffft, I'll go hunt a flokati--alma

*We see at 50mm??--nicole

*We merge onto the internet--alma

*Get your old pizza hand out of my retainers!--nicole

*It was rejuvenating to my soul to watch other kids being naughty--nicole

*(pointing to a map) Hey, look at that lotion!--jagger (3.5)

*I'm like the devil wears prada lady--alma

*I feel like your parent's house just took a big terd it's been holding onto for a long time--alma

*(nicole: are you going to be a missionary?) I be Jesus--jagger

*Mom, don't shave my body--jagger

*It's not real life, kids are free naughty spirits--nicole

*You're sure a good boy mom--jagger

*Why would you want to get old if you didn't have little kids around to yell at?--alma

*I don't eat from people named Willie--alma

*(pointing to alma's mole on his face) Hey dad, you have poop on your face...only a little bit--jagger

*Jesus wears chacos--jagger

*Ooooo, monkey and orange...the new black--alma

*I like spring, fall, winter, and fridays--jagger

*You just claimed my colon noise--alma

*My leg would be a good jockey--alma

*I don't want mom to milk me--jagger

*Hola, Soy Pamela!--nicole

*(to alma with the vacuum) Don't suck us up. (nicole: why not?) cuz we're your kids--jagger

*Why don't you think about Jesus, instead of lightning mcqueen--nicole

*(alma: do you know what a tank is?) no, do they have a sucker?--jagger

*Fart on me...on my face--jagger

*That fool's got a whole lot of real estate--nicole

*(supposing what the baseball players were saying) oh i'm hot--nicole. Man, i'm sweaty--alma. I think they're saying, I have to go poop!--jagger

*I can see mountain hood!--jagger

*(alma: look at that volcano, it has the top blown off and it looks like a big dish) Yeah, we could put cereal in it. I would eat it all and get sick and blow throw up in your eye--jagger

*God made doctors idiots, so that mothers can feel empowered by defying them--alma

*Hi weetie!--vienna

*Balloon man...dead--vienna

*Whoa mom whoa, you're gonna get diarrhea--jagger

*That would be sad if daddy fell off that big tower and broke his whole body...or his foot--jagger

*Look...at...my...crazy...mustache!--vienna

*Yeah, but using a PC, that would be like a punch in the balls every time your opened it--nicole

THE SMITH FAMILY

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

what a bunch of characters! - by alma

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